Behavioral Health Consultant, Trainer and EAP Manager

Seattle, Washington

Husband Won’t Agree to Therapy

Question: My wife wants us to come in and see you. It’s nothing personal, you understand, but… Well, actually it IS personal! That’s just it. I keep my private stuff private, thankyouverymuch. OK in all seriousness, my objection really is that I just don’t think it can help. Already, we talk about problems and all it does is get us more entangled. The way I see it, the problem is in how we try to solve problems. She gets repetitive, I get defensive, and we go in painful circles. So when go see a therapist, this is just going to intensify. I’d rather drill my own teeth.

Answer:

Dude, have it your way. I’ll ask your wife to come in anyway. I can do couples therapy with an individual. Family therapists tend to be better at doing individual therapy with relationship improvement as a goal, while oftentimes other therapists will reinforce a client’s self-interest and relationships can suffer. So I can see her without you and you need not worry that we are fomenting trouble.

But we can do better by your marriage if you come in with her. And it will reduce pain, not increase it.

Alright, I’ll be honest here. If you come in with your wife, yes – it will force conversations you might otherwise wish to avoid. But here’s the thing: it will force a different process within those conversations. Usually it doesn’t take very long for me to see how two well-intended people are getting completely sideways with each other. Then, it’s a matter of all of us seeing how it is happening. We take a breath, then I have the two of you go about it differently. I could go into much more detail but suffice it to say, if you can agree to give it a try, you should find that it is worth your while.

Still doubtful?  Call me up

10 thoughts on “Husband Won’t Agree to Therapy

  1. Wow, amazing weblog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
    you make running a blog look easy. The entire glance of your website is fantastic, as well
    as the content material!

  2. Awesome site you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any community
    forums that cover the same topics talked about in this article?
    I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get responses from
    other knowledgeable individuals that share the same
    interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
    Appreciate it!

  3. of course like your web-site however you have to take a look at the spelling on quite
    a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and
    I to find it very troublesome to inform the reality then again I’ll definitely come again again.

  4. Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account
    it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you!
    However, how could we communicate?

  5. Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your
    website, how could i subscribe for a weblog site?
    The account helped me a applicable deal. I have
    been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered vibrant transparent idea

  6. Heya fantastic blog! Does running a blog like this take a large amount of work?
    I’ve no understanding of programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog in the
    near future. Anyway, if you have any ideas or tips for new blog owners
    please share. I know this is off subject nevertheless
    I simply wanted to ask. Appreciate it!

  7. I want to get across my gratitude for your kind-heartedness in support of individuals who need help on your niche. Your very own commitment to getting the message all-around had become wonderfully invaluable and has continually allowed workers just like me to arrive at their goals. Your personal useful hints and tips can mean this much a person like me and much more to my office workers. Regards; from all of us.

  8. Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your
    post seem to be running off the screen in Chrome.
    I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to
    do with browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know.
    The layout look great though! Hope you get the problem solved soon.
    Many thanks

Comments are closed.