Behavioral Health Consultant, Trainer and EAP Manager

Seattle, Washington

Why Can’t Depressed People Just Move On?

Question: Why Can’t Depressed People Just Move On?


It is a little mysterious. On one hand, losses and big stresses cause depression. On the other hand, many people who have had a lifelong smooth road get terribly depressed while many others, with a horrific past or terrible current situation, do not.

There is still a lot we do not know about what makes the difference, but there is a lot we do know. Here some factors you would want to have going for you:

Choose good genes. If you have parents, grandparents and siblings with major depression, your chances of having it are statistically elevated. This is not to say that your genes are anything like a destiny – only that they are a factor.

Get a good upbringing. Apart from your family’s genetic influence, there is the environmental one. In other words, you may have parents or others who displayed the “pick up and move on” method for you to learn. This may or may not be better than a household atmosphere in which emotions are openly acknowledged and accepted. The best environment would have both sets of lessons.

Come from a history in which you could experience some success in your efforts. By this I mean everything from the small efforts, like receiving the reasonable things you ask for, to big ones, like finding safety after a traumatic event. With a high rate of defeats, we develop a “learned helplessness” so that we later fail to exert ourselves even when doing so would clearly pay off.

Maintain health and safety. Poverty or ongoing threats to your well-being will put you at greater risk.

Cultivate personal support. This can range from having a spouse or committed partner, close friends, casual friends, a collegial co-worker and even a friendly neighbor. It can come from belonging to a team, an interest group or a community group of any kind. An atmosphere of love helps but, as with all of these items is neither necessary nor sufficient by itself. The jury is still out as to whether a cyber-network of instant-messaging friends counts for much.

Avoid harmful chemicals. This includes alcohol. It includes marijuana too. Even moderate amounts, if you are depressed, could be a problem.

Avoid ruminating. Dwelling on regrets, fears and insecurities is rarely a solution. It is a problem. The solution is to involve yourself in anything that makes better use of your attention.

Be active. Exercise may be the single best medicine. You earn more points if the exercise is enjoyable and/or involves others.

Now, of course there are a number of people who appear to be depressed from the view of everyone around, while they do not think of themselves as depressed at all. They may be sullen, irritable and a general drag on the rest of us. We cannot in principle tell someone else how they feel, but those observations have to be worth something. Then, there are also those who brood and despair, but who manage positive relationships, work productively and generally contribute more than they drain away.

This group is much more likely to complain of depression. Of the two however, which is better off – the worried well or the walking wounded?

Finally, I think your point is an excellent one. At some point, extensive talk about depression must be counter-productive. As a society we are far from that point, I believe. For any given individual though, picking up and moving on may be the quickest cure. The method just does not come as naturally to many as it does to you.

22 thoughts on “Why Can’t Depressed People Just Move On?

  1. Some truly wonderful content on this site, thank you for contribution. “When he has ceased sex hear the many, he may discern the One – the inner sound which kills the outer.” by H Hahn Blavatsky.

  2. I do accept as true with all the ideas you’ve offered for your post. They’re very convincing and will certainly work. Still, the posts are very brief for newbies. May you please extend them a little from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

  3. Iā€™m not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic. I needs sex spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent info I was looking for this information for my mission.

  4. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going sex a famous blogger if you are not already šŸ˜‰ Cheers!

  5. Just wanna input on few general things, The porn design and style is perfect, the written content is very superb. “I delight in men over seventy. They always offer one the devotion of a lifetime.” by Oscar Fingall O’Flahertie Wills Wilde.

  6. Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your web-site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you’ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found just the information I already searched everywhere and simply couldn’t come across. What a perfect web-site.

  7. you are actually a excellent webmaster. The web site loading pace is amazing. It kind of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterwork. you have done a great activity on this matter!

  8. of course like your website however you have to check the spelling on several of your posts.

    A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find
    it very bothersome to tell the reality on the
    other hand I will certainly come back again.

  9. Hello! I know this is kinda off topic however , I’d figured
    I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring
    a blog article or vice-versa? My blog covers a lot of the same
    subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit
    from each other. If you might be interested feel free to send me an email.

    I look forward to hearing from you! Excellent blog by the way!

  10. Thanks a lot for sharing this with all of us you actually understand what you’re talking
    approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly additionally discuss with
    my website =). We may have a hyperlink change agreement between us

  11. Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you can be a great author.

    I will always bookmark your blog and will often come back later on. I want to encourage that you continue your great posts, have a nice evening!

Leave a Comment