Behavioral Health Consultant, Trainer and EAP Manager

Seattle, Washington

Uncaring Husband

Question:

I get into crying spells and my husband blows me off. He refuses to comfort me and he hides behind the newspaper. Sometimes he ridicules me. My friends tell me to leave him but that’s not an option. What do I do with this guy??

 

Answer:

There are two general directions you can take with your husband. One is to accept that he has the flaws he does (my wife knows about this!), and that pressing him to change is not only futile, but makes you frustrated and makes him more obstinate. It is a little easier to re-label his behavior then – rather that simply insensitive, maybe he’s scared to death of your strong emotions. Which one of you really needs the comforting? Imagine how you might behave if you could adopt this view 100%. It could be worth seeing how he responds.

The other general direction is in some ways incompatible, but not completely. You would decide that in being committed to your marriage, you are committed to doing everything in your power to stop his eroding it. Being careful not to do it in a way that can backfire, you strategize on how to turn up the heat. For example, you might talk to him about your complaint repeatedly, but only when you’re composed. At the times you’re crying, you may not be as assertive, and he’s already shown that he tunes you out. So, at the other times the issue is always at the top of the agenda. In a sense, he’s not playing the game, so you keep pitching the ball until the only thing left for him is to swing at it.

If you want to explore these kinds of options some more, a very good writer on the subject is Michele Weiner-Davis. Check out any of her books, esp. Getting Through to the Man You Love: The No-Nonsense, No-Nagging Guide for Women on one of the retail websites.

35 thoughts on “Uncaring Husband

  1. Thanks for your personal marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading
    it, you can be a great author.I will make certain to bookmark your
    blog and will eventually come back very soon. I want to encourage you to ultimately continue your great job,
    have a nice morning!

  2. An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a colleague who was
    conducting a little homework on this. And he actually ordered
    me breakfast due to the fact that I found it for him…
    lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanks for spending some time to discuss
    this issue here on your internet site.

  3. Awesome blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?
    A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog
    shine. Please let me know where you got your theme.
    Cheers

  4. I’m really inspired together with your writing abilities and also with the layout in your blog.
    Is this a paid subject matter or did you customize it your self?
    Either way keep up the nice quality writing,
    it is uncommon to see a nice weblog like this one these days..

  5. I do believe all the ideas you’ve presented to your post.
    They’re really convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts
    are too short for newbies. May you please prolong them a bit
    from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.

  6. Nice blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What
    web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your
    host? I wish my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  7. Thanks , I have just been searching for information approximately this subject for
    a while and yours is the greatest I have discovered till now.

    But, what in regards to the bottom line? Are you certain in regards to the supply?

  8. Magnificent goods from you, man. I’ve take note your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely
    great. I actually like what you’ve bought here, certainly like what you’re stating and
    the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible.

    I can’t wait to read far more from you. That is actually a tremendous website.

  9. Quest bars cheap fitnesstipsnew1 quest bars cheap 516999410492780544 quest bars cheap
    Hello mates, how is everything, and what you wish for to say regarding this paragraph, in my
    view its genuinely remarkable in support of me.

    Quest bars cheap fitnesstipsnew1 quest bars cheap 516999410492780544 quest bars cheap

  10. Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this web site before but
    after browsing through many of the articles I realized it’s new to me.
    Anyhow, I’m certainly happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back regularly!

  11. Pingback: Google
  12. Pingback: lingerie
  13. Pingback: monitoren
  14. Pingback: better world
  15. Pingback: vader streams
  16. Pingback: wand massager
  17. Pingback: redbubble stickers
  18. Pingback: play raging rhino
  19. Pingback: cryptoethereum
  20. Pingback: entrepreneur women

Comments are closed.