Behavioral Health Consultant, Trainer and EAP Manager

Seattle, Washington

I Want a Therapist who Likes Me


I want a therapist who likes me. Therapists I’ve had in the past seem to just seem to want to to want to get me in and get me out. Or, they’d treat me like a child, using pity and patronizing. Another one was young and inexperienced and seemed awed by me which wasn’t helpful, and I imagine others are remote and analytical, too removed.

As a therapist it’s something of a duty to find a way to like everyone I’m working with. But of course, it’s a complicated task. No one is likeable or dislikable at all times, and I myself have moments when I seem to hate everyone (not in the therapy office, luckily; it’s when I stub my toe badly). Also, “like” has different components, all of which vary in degree with different relationships. There is admiration, compassion, curiosity, attraction, shared values and so on.

To a large degree, it’s harder to like someone who I cannot get to know, and easier to like someone the more I can get to know them – and by this I mean not just their story and worldview, but their feelings as we interact.

But it’s a two-way street. If I may be so blunt, you have a role to play in how a therapist responds to you. I would not want to promise to like someone who doesn’t earn my fondess, and I would do you no favors by giving unearned appreciation. What I can do, over time as we build a relationship, is give direct feedback on those things you do which are likeable, and those that may elicit negative reactions. Our feelings toward each other can be a window we both utilize.

I want you to be someone who can be liked by your therapist – and the others in your life.  We’ll work on it.

11 thoughts on “I Want a Therapist who Likes Me

  1. hey there and thank you for your info – I have definitely picked
    up something new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical points
    using this website, since I experienced to reload the web site many times previous to I
    could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering
    if your web host is OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading instances times will often affect your placement in google and could damage your high quality score if advertising and marketing with Adwords.

    Anyway I’m adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for
    much more of your respective intriguing content. Make sure you update this again very soon.

  2. Wow! This blog looks exactly like my old one!
    It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same
    page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!

  3. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads
    up. The words in your article seem to be running off the screen in Firefox.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with
    internet browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
    The style and design look great though! Hope you get the problem solved
    soon. Many thanks

  4. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I
    get four e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from
    that service? Cheers!

  5. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I do think that you ought to publish more on this subject,
    it might not be a taboo subject but typically folks don’t discuss
    such issues. To the next! All the best!!

  6. I do not know if it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else encountering issues with your website.
    It looks like some of the written text in your content are running off the screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me
    know if this is happening to them too? This could be a problem with my browser because I’ve had this happen previously.
    Many thanks

  7. Hello I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you
    by error, while I was browsing on Aol for something else, Regardless I am here now and would
    just like to say thanks a lot for a remarkable post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the
    theme/design), I don’t have time to go through
    it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also
    added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back
    to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic work.

Leave a Comment