Question: How can I live with my constant low back pain when my doctor won’t give me the medications I need?
I cannot bear my wife’s alcoholism any longer. If I stay I’ll perish. But if I leave her I’ll be in the financial pits. And strangely, I still love her! I’ve been to an Al-Anon meeting but it’s not enough. Most of my friends tell me to leave her, and my family tells me to stick it out. What do I do?
Note: I first wrote this answer as a way to talk about methods to approach tough dilemmas, and since that time it has grown into the forum you see now.
I’m continually moved by the vivid descriptions of the carnage that addiction causes, and the impossible “you choose, you lose” dilemmas faced by exhausted, isolated partners. Often, finance, children and other circumstances prevent any simple solutions. But, I also notice that many describe their own addiction of sorts – to the partner. A love and attachment you cannot shake, despite the consequences. It’s something like finding yourself holding a hot panhandle and gripping all the more tightly the more it burns.
Please feel free to tell your own story. I also encourage you to respond to other postings with a few words of appreciation, support and ideas.
Updates are appreciated. There are many more readers of this dialogue than there are responders – you have an interested group here and we want to know what happens.
My doctor has advised me start taking an antidepressant. She tells me they are not addictive but I don’t understand how they can’t be. If you rely on a drug to be happy, isn’t that a form of dependence?